Bad Po (episode)/Transcript
Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Bad Po" from the television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks. Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, Jon Ross. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by action=history}} contributors of this article. __TOC__ Act 1 [ Po is training against some wooden cutouts of crocodile bandits under the supervision of Master Shifu in the Training Hall's courtyard. Po does a weak split kick on two cutouts with no effect. The cutouts bounce back and hit him.] SHIFU: Harder, Po! continues to train. He picks up an ax from a wooden cutout and hits another one and becomes worried when he realizes that it is a cutout of a civilian. PO: Oops! SHIFU: A little too hard. Po. Your compassion and your aggression must be balanced to be a whole warrior. PO: the ax. It's not really fair, she's scary! civilian is revealed to be a creepy old goat lady. The other cutouts deactivate. SHIFU: Nevertheless, with croc bandits on the rampage, everyone must be at the top of their game. PO: Yeah, and I'm 'onna go look for 'em right now, in the kitchen. leaving. SHIFU: Po. We agreed if you didn't complete the entire course you are to clean the archives. Come with me. and becomes startled when the goat lady cutout pops up in front of him. Perhaps we should rethink these designs. two proceed into the Training Hall. They arrive at a room in the Training Hall that's full of relics. PO: Cool! I gotta say, as dumb chores go, this one's kind of awesome. Whoa! over to a locking stock. The Ancient Locking Stocks for the prisoner sideshow, over to a smaller stockade and gasps. and sideshow junior! gasps as he runs over to a mask. SHIFU: Careful Po. PO: up the mask. I got it. his grip on the mask and nearly drops it. Falls with the mask on his face. Laughs nervously. I had it all the way. up. SHIFU: Don't handle the artifacts, Po, just gently dust them. Po a feather duster. PO: the feather duster. Gasps as he looks over at a mirror. I've heard of this, the mirror. the Mystical Mirror of Yin and Yang. Cool! SHIFU: That you can handle. PO: Really? SHIFU: Because it's a replica, the real one is safely locked away in that cabinet. PO: the cabinet. Ooh! Ah. to open the cabinet. SHIFU: Don't touch it. leaving. Po fiddles with the lock on the cabinet. Dust. continues and waits for Shifu to leave before messing with the lock. The sooner you finish, the sooner you can search for crocs... walking. Po continues messing with the lock. ...in the kitchen. Leaves continues dusting and then he starts to examine the lock some more. PO: No, Stops no, don't touch it. turns away from the cabinet. He slowly glances toward the cabinet. He opens the cabinet revealing the mirror to be covered by a cloth. Po pulls off the cloth and looks into the mirror. After a few seconds, his reflection becomes surrounded by rays of light. He yells out and a blue silhouette of himself appears out of him. After becoming frightened he slams shut the cabinet. SHIFU: Po! GOOD PO: Nothing! the room. he leaves, light starts to shine from inside the cabinet. The door burst off revealing [[Bad Po (character)|another Po]. He spits to the side as he exits the cabinet.] BAD PO: several artifacts. Mine, mine, mine, mine! the artifacts on the floor. (Mockingly) Po, clean that up! (Normally) Laughs. No! and exits the room. the dining room, [[Tigress], Monkey, and Mantis are eating dumplings. Monkey voraciously eats his serving, causing Mantis to stare at him.] TIGRESS: A true warrior savors every bite of food, for it may be their last. MONKEY: No way! I gotta eat what I can before Po gets here. and Mantis realize this and begin eating in the same manner as Monkey. Good Po passes by the entrance, skipping and humming. He then turns back and looks into the room. GOOD PO: Oh, hey guys. and Mantis scowl Good Po as they eat. Good Po enters the dining hall. I just made you all woven grass slippers. holds her food in a defensive manner as Good Po hands her slippers. Good Po then hands Mantis four small slippers. Monkey gets defensive as Good Po approaches him. MONKEY: Eh-eh, my food, Po. Keep your hands off! GOOD PO: Oh, I'm not really hungry. Monkey, and Mantis become surprised. Mantis faints and falls off of the table. I'll just go do everyone's dishes. the plates. remain stunned as Good Po steps aside. Mantis jumps back on the table. [[Crane] arrives.] CRANE: Everybody, the crocs are attacking outside town! TIGRESS: Let's go! Monkey, Mantis, and Crane exit the room. GOOD PO: Gasps. Can I come too?! Or is this just a you guys thing? peeks back into the room. TIGRESS: Po, come on. GOOD PO: Thank you! Follows. in the [[Po's village|village], the Croc Bandits are terrorizing the village. Gahri runs out of a house.] MRS. YOON: Stop! Please! My grandmother gave me that vase! FUNG: Then tell her to get you another one. A nearby croc bandit catches a vase and puts it on a cart with other vases. Come on let's get out of here before... [[Furious Five] arrive and get into fighting positions. Good Po arrives seconds later.] GOOD PO: Hey everybody! Those vases look heavy. Need some help? MONKEY: Hand it over Fung. FUNG: Yeah, um, about that... a large vase at the group. vase misses and when the group turns back, the crocs are gone. TIGRESS: What?! You three stay here, we'll go after the crocs. Po, Tigress, and Monkey run off. In the forest, the three croc bandits split up into two groups. TIGRESS: Po, you go after him, and we'll stay with these two. and Monkey start chasing after them. GOOD PO: Tigress! two stop and look back at Good Po. Your fur is very shiny today, looks nice. and Monkey exchange glance. TIGRESS: Just go! three continue with the plan. Later, Tigress captures Fung and [[Wall Eye]. Good Po arrives without having captured Gahri.] TIGRESS: What are you doing?! Po waves back. He got away? We may still be able get him. If you and Monkey go that way... GOOD PO: No, no, it's okay. I let 'em go. TIGRESS: ...I can go... What? Wait a minute, you did what now? GOOD PO: What a nice guy. scorns Good Po. Are you mad? You look mad. (Timidly) stops scowling and becomes confused. You are mad. crying. Okay, okay, I'm 'onna stop. stops crying. The croc bandits also become confused at Good Po's behavior. He starts crying again. Okay, okay, I'm 'onna stop. crying. Fine now. MONKEY: It's not just me is it? Po's acting awfully weird. Po starts loosening the ropes on the bandits. GOOD PO: Let me loosen this, these ropes are totally gonna start chafing your backsides. TIGRESS: Po! Po becomes startled and stops touching the ropes. MONKEY: Did someone kick him in the head? TIGRESS: No, but I might. at the [[Student Barracks], Crane arrives at the kitchen and sees Bad Po eating out of a pot of dumplings.] CRANE: There you are. Shifu wants to see us all in the Training Hall. BAD PO: Ah, run home to your mother you pencil-necked momma's boy. CRANE: leaving. Okay great so I'll just tell... back. Wait, what'd you call me? BAD PO: Pencil-necked, momma's boy. Burps. scowls Bad Po and walks away. While walking down the steps from the barracks, Crane bumps into Good Po. GOOD PO: Hey, Crane! CRANE: Quit following me! good Po. GOOD PO: Crane! CRANE: Rude, insulting, poor excuse for a friend! Good Po on the ground and flies away. GOOD PO: What?! of Act 1 Act 2 Po arrives in front of [[Mr. Ping]'s Noodle Shop where he scares two citizens before walking into the Noodle Shop. He looks around and is soon spotted by Mr. Ping.] MR. PING: Po, just in time. I need your help. Bad Po two bowls of noodles. Table eight. Po walks up to a table with the noodles. At the table are a male goose and a female pig. FEMALE PIG: Ooh, these look delicious! BAD PO: a bowl away and eats the other. You better believe it, way too good for you, skunk breath. female pig turns to the goose. The goose turns to Bad Po. MALE GOOSE: Don't you talk to my wife that way! BAD PO: I'll talk to her anyway I want, rump nugget. Po picks up the goose and flings him across the Noodle Shop. The customers gasp. MR. PING: Po, what are you doing to my customers?! BAD PO: Nothing compared to what your so-called "noodles" are doing to them. down a customer and grabs the noodles on the table. Everyone watches Bad Po with fear. Bad Po smells the noodles Woo, I had better noodles than these come out of my nose. over the table. I never wanted to work in a Noodle Shop, ever! MR. PING: Bad Po. Oh Po, how could you say such things? BAD PO: It's about time somebody told you the truth, old man. Po throws a table into the shop and a large fireball erupts out of the kitchen. Bad Po backs out while laughing. Good Po arrives, but he remains looking in another direction and does not see Bad Po, who also does not see Good Po. Good Po enters the Noodle Shop. GOOD PO: Hi dad! MR. PING: saddening Good Po. How can you treat me like this?! GOOD PO: What?! Ping turns away and enters the kitchen. The customers leave the restaurant. FEMALE PIG: Good Po. You should be ashamed of yourself! GOOD PO: What? What's going on?! Po wanders around the village in a state of sorrow. He unintentionally scares some villagers as he passes them. MRS. YOON: You! a large pot at Good Po, but misses. That's for knocking over my garbage you scoundrel! GOOD PO: But I... MALE PIG: Thanks for smashing my latter miscreant! Po stops when he comes to a male duck. MALE DUCK: Creep! Good Po on the foot with a stick. Po jumps away in pain. He falls on a pot in a nearby alley. GOOD PO: Why does everyone hate me? I didn't do anything! then, Bad Po grabs Good Po. BAD PO: Quit following me! GOOD PO: Sorry! Sorry! I... then they both realize that they look like each other. BOTH: Gasp. Who are you? I'm Po, the Dragon Warrior. GOOD PO: You can't be me, I'm me: lovable, friendly, slightly chubby, Po. BAD PO: No, I'm me: the bodaciously awesome Dragon Warrior, who does whatever he wants! GOOD PO: I'm me: the collector of all tchotchkes kung fu. BAD PO: The defeater of foes. GOOD PO: The friend of the five. BOTH: The guy who annoys Shifu. GOOD PO: Gasps. Ooh-ooh, the mirror, the Mystical Mirror of Yin and Yang. It split me into two Po's. BOTH: Awesome! GOOD PO: Gasps. Shifu's gonna know that I disobeyed him! He'll be so mad! BAD PO: Ah, I'm so sick of that! Him and his stink eye. GOOD PO: He'll be all, disappointed. BAD PO: Stop worrying about Shifu. Po smacks Good Po in the face. BOTH: Ow! are both affected by the smack. Po smacks Good Po again to see if the same thing happens. After seeing that it does affect him, he proceeds to flick Good Po in the nose several times. BAD PO: Guess I gotta make sure you don't get hurt, huh? GOOD PO: Sweet! BAD PO: Look, I can take care of Shifu. We can work together, as long as you do whatever I say. GOOD PO: Uh, I'm not sure I... BAD PO: And I'll steal you a cookie. GOOD PO: I'm in! two go over to the artifacts room in the Training Hall. Bad Po locks Good Po with the Ancient Locking Stocks. GOOD PO: And uh, what exactly is the plan? BAD PO: The plan is, you stay down here forever, and I get to be the one and only Dragon Warrior. away. GOOD PO: I... Uhh. Po turns around and laughs loudly. BAD PO: I'm funny! Leaves. GOOD PO: Laughs. Okay, I'll wait here then. the training area of the Training Hall, Monkey and Crane spar. SHIFU: Everyone has a dominant side. This exercise is made to help strengthen your weaker side. Po arrives. BAD PO: into Tigress. Hey, good-lookin', what's shakin'? gasps and snarls at Bad Po. Monkey laughs. SHIFU: You're late. Do you care to explain where you've been? BAD PO: Not really, Scoogily-moogily-doo. SHIFU: Punctuality is as vital a trait as any that the Dragon Warrior possesses. It is a reflection of y--... BAD PO: Ah, save the pithy nugget of wisdom Shifster. stares at Po in disbelief. Let's do some stuff. How 'bout, for being late, I'll take on Monkey and Crane with both hands tied behind my back. Shifu's annoyance, but otherwise agreement, Bad Po is facing Monkey and Crane with his hands tied, moments later. SHIFU: Begin. CRANE: up and comes down on Bad Po. This one's for my mom! Po dodges the attack. Monkey attacks Bad Po, but Bad Po kicks him and sends him into some weapons. Whoa. Po trips Crane and kicks him. Monkey comes up behind Bad Po and grabs his neck. Bad Po falls back and crushes Monkey, he then breaks the rope around his hands and takes a stance. VIPER: Po, enough! lunges at Bad Po. Bad Po grabs Viper and stretches her out. MANTIS: Hey! and Mantis rush in to fight Bad Po. Bad Po uses Viper as a whip to hit Mantis then Tigress. Bad Po kicks monkey and throws Viper. Tigress gets back up and fights Bad Po. Bad Po kicks Tigress. BAD PO: That all you got?! I thought you were supposed to be warriors. SHIFU: Po, this is unacceptable. BAD PO: Save it bite-size. You're not the boss of me. scowls. Bad Po approaches the exit. I'm the Dragon Warrior. The universe chose me not you! You losers call me when you aren't afraid of a little fighting. Leaves. MONKEY: O--kay. the [[Hall of Warriors], Shifu tries to discover why Po is acting so strange.] SHIFU: Something is wrong with our Dragon Warrior. He seemed fine yesterday, training session, the archives. Po arrives, unbeknownst to Shifu. Oh, wait. The Mystical Mirror of Yin and Yang. He's been divided! Po now stands directly behind Shifu. Po's evil half could be deadly. BAD PO: So true. of Act 2 Act 3 wakes up to find out that he is locked up in the Ancient Locking Stock for the prisoner sideshow junior. GOOD PO: Well it's about time you woke up, sleepy head. Oh, did I wake you? Don't be mad, I'll talk quieter. (Whispering) Inside voice. SHIFU: The Archives, he's very clever. GOOD PO: Oh yeah, I'd never spent much time in here before. Check out this awesome echo-thing you can do with your voice. Hello! Hello! voice echoes several times. How cool is that huh? SHIFU: Po, do you understand what's happening here? GOOD PO: Uh, the sound waves bounce off the walls and they come back to... SHIFU: You gazed into the Mirror of Yin and Yang and split yourself into good and evil selves. GOOD PO: Oh, that. which am I? SHIFU: You are the good Po: compassionate, innocent-- a bit oversensitive. GOOD PO: sobbing. That's not true! SHIFU: But, the evil Po has none of those qualities and all of the Dragon Warrior's aggression and hostility. GOOD PO: That's nice too! sighs. Or, no. SHIFU: At sundown this becomes permanent. We'll be stuck with an evil Dragon Warrior, whose powers are almost limitless. glances over to Good Po, who is touching his nose with his tongue. GOOD PO: (With his tongue out) I can touch my nose with my tongue. and Crane are walking down the hallway in the Student Barracks. TIGRESS: I can't believe it, I'm actually worried about Po. CRANE: Yeah, I'm worried about us. two enter the Dining Room to find Bad Po talking playing Mahjong with the croc bandits. BAD PO: Seven of Tongzhi to Wong, possible inside straight. Gahri gets the North Wind, no help there. And the Dragon Warrior gets the Five of Bamboo, possible flush. Action is still to Fung, with a pair of seasons. FUNG: Come on lucky Winter. TIGRESS: What is going on here?! PO: 'Sup losers? We got room for one more. But I warn you, that croc is a shark. smiles dully, and makes a stupid sound. TIGRESS: You can't be... BAD PO: Tigress. I can, and will, do anything I want. I'm the Dragon Warrior hone, from now on, I call the shots. growls and clenches her fist. You wanna do something about it? CRANE: Uh, if that includes leaving, yes. three croc bandits surround Bad Po as Tigress raises her fist. Crane stops Tigress. This isn't the time or the place. BAD PO: You should listen to momma's boy. croc bandits laugh. CRANE: Hey! pulls Tigress out of the Dining Room as he exits. BAD PO: And while you're at it, clear out your stuff! All of you! Your services are no longer needed! And believe me, there's going to be some change around here. the Archives, Shifu and Good Po are still trying to escape, as the sun nears setting. SHIFU: Evil Po is growing strong and more unstable with each passing minute. We must end this madness. to get out of the locks. GOOD PO: Isn't that gonna be hard? I mean, locked up like this, and the key is way over there. Po reveals the key to be right next to his foot. SHIFU: Po, has that key been there all along? GOOD PO: Uh, no. Just since the other me dropped it. SHIFU: Uh-huh, and do you see that you can reach it with your foot? GOOD PO: Yeah. Gasps. Oh! I see what you're getting at! But I totally promised other me I'd stay here. I really want me to like me. Do you think I like me? begins scowling. SHIFU: Po, will you just...! himself. Yes, yes he does like you, and that's why he left us a way out. It's like a puzzle, and you figured it out, good boy! Po smiles and reveals the locking stock to not be locked. He then gets up and walks over to the key and picks it up. GOOD PO: Yay me! frowns. Down some steps from the [[Jade Palace], Bad Po is rallying up the Croc Bandits.] BAD PO: For too long you bandits have been under Shifu and the Furious Five's oppressive thumb-ses. bandits cheer. CROC BANDIT: Actually, they don't all have thumbs. BAD PO: You deserve better than that, and I, I deserve respect, and I'll get it, through fear and intimidation, and something else. SHORT CROC BANDIT: Burnin' down the village! BAD PO: Yeah! Then they'll worship me! BANDITS: Yeah! BAD PO: Who's with me?! BANDITS: We are! group proceeds down the steps and toward the village. In front of the Hall of Warriors, the Furious Five look down on Bad Po. MONKEY: Po's lost his mind! MANTIS: Where's Master Shifu? CRANE: I've looked all over for him, but I can't find him. Po comes out of the Hall of Warriors, behind the five. TIGRESS: We've got to stop Po! GOOD PO: Hey guys! There you are. Tigress, I was about to clean your room. five get into fighting position. Uh-oh. attack Good Po. Nice move. gets on his back. Good form. Ow, good job Mantis. arrives. I found them. TIGRESS: Quiet! on Good Po's back. GOOD PO: Ooh, I had that coming. SHIFU: Tigress stop, stops attacking. Good Po gets up. this is not the Dragon Warrior who been causing all the trouble. All of you, come with me. five follow Shifu into the Hall of Warriors, while Good Po stands aside and watches them pass. Shifu comes back outside. You too, Po! GOOD PO: Yes! inside. the Hall of Warriors, Shifu informs the five there being two Pos. He then devises a plan for merging Po into one again. CRANE: And you think this plan will work? GOOD PO: Absolutely! What plan? Sorry, missed it. P.S. aren't Crane's feathers amazing?! five pass glances and stare back at Good Po, who is unaware of how strange his actions are. SHIFU: Sighs. If evil Po sees his reflection in the Mirror of Yin and Yang the two Pos will instantly reunite. TIGRESS: We should be able to do that. You're sure he's on his way here? bang is heard at the door. BAD PO: Get outta the way! MONKEY: Pretty sure. and the five spread out and hide. Good Po stays out in the open and gets excited. GOOD PO: This is gonna be so great! humming. pulls Good Po. Bad Po barges in with a small bowl of soup. BAD PO: the soup and crushes the bowl against. What to wear for Po worship. through the hall. Tigress hides on a high support beam with the Mirror of Yin and Yang. She jumps down in front of Bad Po with the mirror. Bad Po covers his eyes from the mirror. No ya' don't sweets! I can guess what happens if I look into that mirror again. Po does a reverse roundhouse kick toward the mirror, but Tigress moves the mirror. SHIFU: Be careful, if the mirror breaks, Evil Po is here forever! GOOD PO: Waves. Hi. BAD PO: Really? a fighting stance. I like that. rest of the Furious Five surround Bad Po. Bad Po jumps toward the mirror. Tigress moves the mirror out of the way and gets kicked by Bad Po. Monkey catches the mirror and holds it in front of Bad Po, but Bad Po shields his eyes and turns around. Monkey jumps in front of Bad Po with mirror. Bad Po grabs Monkey by the tail and throws him. Crane jumps up and catches the mirror. Mantis approaches Bad Po and attacks him. Mantis is quickly kicked and punched away by Bad Po. Viper approaches Bad Po, but Bad Po quickly picks her up, pulls on her, and throws her. BAD PO: Ha! This Po's got all of the moves, and none of the sap! GOOD PO: And none of the friends either. Po quickly fights Tigress, Viper, and Monkey. Tigress comes up fast on Bad Po and hits him when he turns around. BAD PO: Ow! Po also reacts to the hit. GOOD PO: Ow! I'd know that fist anywhere. Um, guys. Careful, uh, if you want. When you hit him, it hurts me! TIGRESS: (While dodging attacks) Well lucky for you, we don't seem to be landing many punches. GOOD PO: Gasps. Wait a minute. If it hurts me when he gets hit... up his fist and hits himself in the face several times. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! BAD PO: fighting and flinches. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Po walks in a daze toward a staff. He picks it up and hits himself in the foot. Bad Po punches Monkey and then reacts to the hit. Good Po hits himself in the stomach with the staff. Bad Po hits Tigress and then reacts to the hit. Good Po hits himself in the face several times with the staff. Shifu stares in confusion at the spectacle of Good Po hitting himself and Bad Po flinching at random. Good Po hits his head on a wall, to which Bad Po flinches. Good Po hits his head against a column and on the [[Golden Shield]. Good Po runs around the room, hitting himself on whatever he can find. Good Po charges at a column. Bad Po falls down and gives the five enough time to grab him.] TIGRESS: Crane now! flies in front of Bad Po with the mirror. MONKEY: Mantis go! pries open Bad Po's eyelids. Bad Po nearly gazes into the mirror, but he does a flip kick and shatters the mirror into pieces. The five watch in horror as they fail. The sun begins setting. BAD PO: Laughs. Nice try Feeble Five, out of Tigress' and Monkey's grip. but this Po, does what he wants to. away. GOOD PO: in front of Bad Po. And this Po, does what he needs to. Po holds up the Mystical Mirror of Yin and Yang, causing Bad Po to stare into it. BAD PO: But, it can't be! light starts surrounding his reflection. I broke the... GOOD PO: Replica. Later on, me. bright light illuminates from the mirror and engulfs the two Pos. BAD PO: What?! What?! and the five shield their eyes from the light. No! Noooo! ray light shoots out of the top of the Jade Palace and then disappears. Only one Po remains when the light disappears. Shifu and the five watch Po with curiosity. Po slowly turns around. PO: That... Was... Awesome! Laughs Let's eat! five let out a sigh of relief. The scene changes to Po training against the wooden crocodile cutouts in the Training Hall's Courtyard. Shifu observes him. PO: training. It's kinda weird to think that I have an evil side in me Shifu. SHIFU: But you also have a good side Po. They cannot be separated, this is why we try to remain centered. It is the balance that gives us strength, and brings peace of mind. bows to Shifu. A wooden cutout of Bad Po pops up behind Po. He screams when he turns around and sees it. PO: Very funny, Shifu. SHIFU: You'd rather go back to the goat lady? makes the cutout of an old goat lady pop up. PO: Cringes. Nah, I'm good. to the cutout of Bad Po. Skadoosh! destroys the cutout of Bad Po. of Act 3 of Transcript Category:Transcripts Category:Episode transcripts Category:Legends of Awesomeness transcripts Category:LOA Season 1 transcripts